1. “It’s just a phase, it’ll pass”
“No dad, being straight was just a phase. Thankfully, I’m over it”.
2. “So who’s the man and who’s the woman?”
“Wow dad, I always meant to ask you and mom the same question”
3. “How can you be sure if you’ve never tried going out with a girl?”
“Have you ever tried going out with a guy? They say it’s never too late, and Mr. Robertson from your office has been giving you the looks”
4. “Look at how pretty these girls are”
“Dad, it’s illegal for you to even look at them”
5. “But you’ve dated Pamela when you were younger!” –
“It was just a phase, it passed”.
6. “Don’t tell your mother, it’ll kill her”
“That’s what MOM said about you when I told her 10 years ago”
7. “I don’t want this for you because your life will be more difficult”
“Agreed. Plus, I’m skipping college, all those tests are just too difficult.”
8. “What if the neighbours find out?!”
“You mean our poor neighbours who keep having to see you walking in your underwear in front of the open window?”
9. “Are you being safe?”
“Too bad you didn’t ask my sister that, when she got pregnant last year”
10. “Now I will never have grand-kids”
“Oh don’t worry, gay couples are raising kids all over these days. I just need $200,000 for the surrogacy procedures. Should I bring your wallet from the living room?”
11. “I always knew”
“I always knew you knew, But I knew you knew that I knew that you knew, so I didn’t want to say anything either”
12. “But you don’t look like ‘them!’”
“That’s because you haven’t seen me in bed with my boyfriend yet, Dad”
13. “I have to know, is that Miley Cyrus girl a lesbian or not?”
“Just a second, I’ll call our emergency secret Pink Phone and find out”.
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