These days, maybe more than ever before, dating sometimes feels like a game. You message someone, you wait, you analyse the quick response… and it goes on into the dating period. One guy on Reddit wanted to remind gay guys that when you’re dating – the man on the other side is… a real person, who has no obligation to you – so stop expecting one at that early stage. “It’s not all about you!”
And so he writes:
Did you have a good date with a new guy and are frustrated because he hasn’t texted you back yet? Did you have a bout of enthusiastic texting back and forth yesterday but today you haven’t heard from him yet? Did he have to cancel your plans and now you’re feeling suspicious?
Remember kids – the guy you are into is a real person. He had a life before you two started talking, and part of that life involved being an imperfect, flawed human. And furthermore, remember that if you’re only just talking or starting to date, he has no obligation to you.
Maybe he turned his phone off for work or a movie and forgot to turn it back on. Maybe he’s tired out after work and needs time to himself because it takes energy to devote to getting to know a person. Maybe he saw your message, told himself he’d respond at a more convenient time, and simply forgot to get back to you. Maybe he’s just as nervous as you are that he’s going to get hurt and has no idea what to say back or when is the right time to message you again.
I see a lot of people get frustrated when they feel like they are being “played” with, but try to keep in mind that everyone is the hero of their own story. The guy on the other end of your interaction is, in all likelihood, probably not maliciously seeking out romantic hopefuls like yourself so he can fuck with your emotions and have a laugh about it. He’s probably just, you know… not perfect!
Be empathetic, bros. We’re all quite capable of being “that guy,” so instead of taking it as a personal affront, take a moment, breathe, and remember that you are dealing with a real person.
Oh and for goodness sake, give up on the fucking straight boys.
The other Redditors mostly agreed with this:
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