Open relationships are common with many gay men – but have we moved on so far, that wanting a monogamous one is considered “naïve”? That’s what’s troubling this guy on Reddit, who’s already been cheated on twice.
He writes:
I’ve dated three times. I was cheated on 2 times (both of them said that because they are guys, they always have the need to fuck someone new), and my last boyfriend asked / begged me to consider an open relationship (which I denied and there went my third relationship).
I have nothing against people who are in an open relationship, but it’s just not for me. But it seems everyone seeks one. I live in a very conservative country and all the gays are closeted and the ones that I know are all in an open relationship.
Is it true that because we are guys, we will ‘eventually’ cheat?
The Redditors were quick to offer different opinions:
- That’s bullshit. A monogamous relationship doesn’t mean you don’t want to fuck anyone outside your relationship – everyone, male and female, wants to fuck people outside the relationship. A monogamous relationship means that you refrain from fucking those people you want to. Those guys were just assholes.
- I don’t want an open relationship and there are lots of other gay guys that feel the same way. But, if I were in a committed relationship for say 5 or 10 years, I may feel differently then and would discuss the idea with my partner. “Guys will be guys” is not a valid reason to cheat on someone, those guys were just assholes.
- I joined Scruff recently and seriously…40% of the guys in my area (I counted) were partnered, dating, or married. Like WTF?? I think some of us monogamous-type guys get frustrated when even the dating-oriented sites (aside from the apps) are so full of people already in relationships. It’s like “This guy looks really nice/hot. Oh…he’s in a relationship already”.
