Living in a religious family is hard for a gay (or bisexual) man. But this Muslim man on Reddit, has no regrets about going to secret hookups with men – while his arranged marriage to a woman is being planned.
“I am a Muslim lad who would consider himself as a closeted bi-sexual”, he writes. “I have plans on getting an arranged marriage in the future.”
And then he explains his complicated situation:
I have never had a relationship with a girl throughout life, just a couple of flings. Everyone in my family sees me as the good boy. There is something that they do not know about me.
Since I was 19 (4 years ago), I have been meeting up with guys online. I have had around 8 hookups since then and all of them were similar. They would pick me up, take me somewhere quiet and I would suck them off and leave. I have never been bummed but I know this will happen eventually as I really do want to feel a guy in me.
At first I felt very guilty about this due to my religion but these feelings are slowly disappearing. I love the sound of a man moaning in pleasure as I please him.
My family would probably disown me if they knew about it. I do want to get married and have a family of my own.
However, I think I will be carrying on with these hookups even when I am married because the urges are so hard to fight.